SEVVIE! -the things we never said-

[Lily Evans<3]

&& will i'm sorry ever be enough...

She sat in Dungeon Number Five. It was Lily's secret addiction to come down to the unused dungeon and make potions while no one else was about. She'd take out books from the library and make potions for things people had never even heard of. She changed her hair color regularly simply because she'd had a stash of hair changing potions from her first-year experiments that she didn't have the heart to throw away. So, Lils spent her evenings after classes in the dungeon making different concoctions that she loved. Only two people knew of Lily's potion making, Professor Slughorn and Severus Snape. Slughorn had walked in on Lily during countless occasions and had always approved of her studious nature. Sev however, had come because he knew Lily was there. He often studied with her. All through the early years, Sev would go with her to learn everything because she wanted to. It was so interesting how their friendship worked.

So, Lily sat on a stool before a clean counter with a cauldron brewing relaxation serum. Lily needed to calm herself down, to take a break from worrying all the time over everything. Normally, she'd just spend copious amounts of time with Serenity who would make her laugh. Or, she'd stay with Alice who would turn her into this wild creature of spontaneity. She felt too weird, like she was keeping things from them now. What was Lily to do?

Then, it washed over her like a wave. Each of those memories with Sevvie came swooshing back through her. Every laugh, every smile, every stupid joke, every conversation. It was like, the argument had never happened and he would walk in at any moment to laugh with her again. They would say how annoying James and Sirius were that day. They would discuss how Slughorn had put the wrong ingredient on the board and they were the only ones to notice. They would talk about plans to go the The Three Broomsticks on their next Hogsmeade trip. It felt like just yesterday and Lily wanted to cling to it forever. Why couldn't she just fast-forward and have that again?

Lily slumped on her stool a bit. Her green eyes seemed slightly downcast and her expression seemed helpless. A silent tear slipped down her cheek and she placed her palm on the counter where Sev's should have been. She wanted to hold that cold hand and tell him she was sorry. She wanted to fix all of it. How on earth could she fix it?

[Severus Snape]

&&You'll never know how much it hurt me to say those words...

One particular student, was walking around the dungeons. Severus Snape, to be precise. His school cloak hung from his shoulders. It had once been awkwardly large on his lanky frame, but he'd recently grown into it. If he got any taller, he'd be much too tall, and would need to buy a new one. The proud crest of slytherin was almost perfect, looking quite new seeing as he'd taken care of it so well. The serpant looked almost lifelike and eerie in the dim glow of the lanterns hanging from the walls. There was no need for him to be confined to the common room at this hour. He didn't feel like talking to the lot of them anyhow. Besides, he had a lot on his mind to think about, and he didn't need to hear them chatting...especially about how they were going to seek revenge on the filthy mudbloods. He shuddered mentally. Their main target was none other than Lily Evans, the lovely flame haired Gryffindor that had been Severus' childhood friend.

There was something always entracing about the girl. She was one of a kind. She was stunningly beautiful, and intellegent, but she was never stuck up about it. And those green eyes of her had always transfixed him, looking upon him as if she was the only one who could see the real him. But, apparently it wasn't to last. House rivalries had torn them apart, Lily's blood status causing a lot of tension with his housemates. He didn't exactly understand their animosity against those with two muggle parents. He really wasn't sure he ever would. But they stuck up for Snape, against those horrid marauders. She did too once, but she had taken the side of the last thing they shared, a common enemy by the name of James Potter. It was revolting to watch them snog all the time. Lily had blamed him, but it was her fault, she was the deciever...

Oh who was he kidding? Lily didn't do anything! If anything, it was that horrid Potter's fault. He drove Severus to the edge, made him say something he would never mean, it was just in the heat of the moment. He'd never want to hurt his precious flower. And without him there, she had turned to the one they'd stood against. For this reason, he loathed Potter more than he did before...something he didn't think possible. How he'd like to trap him in a dark abandoned classroom...without his friends standing around him like a shield. But he wouldn't do that, for it would hurt Lily too much, and he didn't want to do anything to deserve her hatred anymore. Even if they'd never be friends again. So perhaps that it was out of habit, that he headed toward the classroom. He doubt she would be there, probably repulsed at the mere sight of him. Snape slouched, in defeat, almost fearing entering the room. He didn't wish to deal with the disappointment, he'd dealt with enough of that.

Severus' heart took a leap off a cliff when he finally did pluck up the courage to enter. There she was, sitting in that same stool she always did, when they'd spend late nights studying together. He was delighted, and scared at the same time. They hadn't spoken since the day when he'd called her that dreadful name. The day he'd been regretting for the past year. She'd screamed that she'd never wanted to see his face again, and ran away. He'd seen the tears staining her cheeks, but hadn't followed her to comfort her.

His black shoes made a light tapping noise, as he walked up to her. "Shouldn't you be in bed?" he said calmly, but inwardly he felt sick. Snape wished she'd forgive him right now, but it wouldn't happen. Not even if he'd swallowed a whole cauldron of Felix Felicis. Was that another tear falling down from her lovely emerald eyes? Lily was crying? But why? If only he could reach out and embrace her...if only she knew how much he loved her...

[Lily Evans<3]

&& then to see you again, it was like being brought back to life

Now she was crying. Stupid Lily! Why am I crying? I'm not some foolish girl who cries over things. At least no one's here to see it. Oh, how I wish I just had someone, anyone, to hug me and tell me that it would all be okay... Her inner dialogue was hard to accept. Lily felt horrible. She knew that the person she wanted was Sev. No one else. No one could make her feel at home again. Perhaps James.... She missed her best friend so much though! Lily heard a door open.

Her emerald green eyes shot towards the door in a slight flit of almost-horror. Someone might see her crying, someone might see her vulnerable! Lily hated that feeling, that helpless, desperate feeling. Why was she subject to it in that moment then? Perhaps it was because the person who had made her feel so vulnerable was the exact person standing in the doorway. There was Severus Snape, exactly as Lily had remembered him last. His awkwardly perfect figure stood in the semi-dark door-frame.

At first, Lily's heart skipped. It felt as though she'd wanted to jump up and greet him with a huge hug. To wipe away her tears fiercely and laugh because he was there. He was physically, tangibly standing before her in the very room they had once claimed as their unofficial sanctuary. She wanted to pull his hand and tell him how she'd gotten top marks on her Potions quiz that morning. Sevvie was the only one who would care about such a thing.

And then it all came back to her in a wave of even more emotion. Instead of running into his arms, she stumbled backward. The stool tipped over to make a clattering noise against the damp stone floor. Her black Converse made a squeak noise as she stumbled towards the wall behind her. "Sevv...vv..." She stuttered. The tears were coming down now. How could she get herself in that ridiculous situation! How could Lily have been so childish? She felt the wall behind her with her cool palms. Something mossy was growing on the stone. She ignored it and looked forward at the one person in the world she'd wanted to see, to speak to, for so long now.

Lily closed her eyes, trying to blink away the tears only to realize that more were coming. She couldn't stop remembering. She couldn't erase everything. She just wanted to be with her best friend again! How could she move herself so far away? Lily felt a sudden pang of hatred towards herself for moving away from Severus. He would never hurt her. Lily knew that! Why was she still crying? She let herself slip down the side of the wall until her bottom touched the stone floor. Her dark denim jeans got the entire soggy effect from the spilled potions galore. She just wished he'd come to her side, cradle her in his arms and make it all go away.

Her eyes were closed and she was on the verge of a breakdown. How would she ever face him after this? If he left now, he'd only remember her as that helpless, pathetic little thing. Lily felt some stabbing jolt of self-pity which she automatically stifled to be replaced with more sadness. She would never be with the young man whom she loved so dearly again. Yet, there he was, standing before her with those same dark eyes, the same attentive expression. Why couldn't she just get up and go to him!

[Severus Snape]

&& I just wanted to hold you close to me, and whisper in your ear that everything's going to be alright...

[/i]


For a moment, Severus silently began praying. Praying that she would somehow not of seen him. Or heard him. He hoped something would make the girl believe that it was a ghost, or her mind playing tricks underneath her. Snape wished despereately that an invisibility cloak would fall from the ceiling on top of him, so he could just watch her, without anyone becoming crushed anymore. He didn't need to cause the girl more pain than he already had.



Lily had spotted him sure enough, and that had provoked more tears. Merlin, he hated to see he cry. Even so she was beautiful, but a piece of his hearts was torn at violently, as if by the talons of a hippogriff when any pain at all had befalled the girl. Did she really still hate the memory of him that much? After all he'd done, and all the manipulation and lies Potter had likely forced on her, of course he didn't blame her. He wouldn't be suprised if the girl was repulsed at the sight of him...he was repulsed at the sight of him. After all, how could one stand to look himself in the mirror after making such a mistake of infinate proportions?

His eyes widened under the dark shadow they were hiding in. She'd fallen to the floor. Lily was whimpering pathetically. Idiot! Why hadn't he run over immediately to catch her? He knew she was just like the rest of her stubborn housemates in the sense that she hated to show any kind of weakness. That was probably one of the few similarities Gryffindor in Slytherin shared. They each hated showing any more emotion than nessicary.

Ignoring what his head was listening to him, he was more focused on the pounding of his heartbeat. In a few long strides, he knelt down beside her, not minding the concoctions all over the floor. "Lily." he said calmly, letting himself look into her watery emerald green eyes. He lifted her up slightly, holding the girl in his arms. She seemed lighter than he might of remembered. Then again, she wasn't taller than he, and neither on of them was six anymore. "Hey, I thought we said we weren't going to cry anymore..." he whispered, gently pushing back her bangs, his hand brushing against her forehead, and a few times, her cheek.

"C'mon, Lils, you promised me." he added with a small smile. She was indeed, quite vulnerable now. More like when they were little. But then, she had been the one comforting him most of the time. Now, it was his turn. And right now, he didn't care about the Marauders or anybody, just Lily, Only Lily. Especially not Potter, where was he when she was so upset? Probably planning a prank. Stupid Potter.


[/left]

[Lily Evans<3]

&& then they teach you how to make the sun rise again...

And then his footsteps could be heard pacing towards her. His hands pulling her up, helping her gain balance again. The feel of his cold palm against her forehead, her cheek. Lily couldn't wish anymore. She couldn't wrap herself up in the things she wanted to happen, she had to let them happen. "I'm so sorry." Were the first words to pass those quivering lips. She could only look into his dark eyes and see that he'd loved her all along too. Promises! They'd made so many promises as children. they'd made promises every year at Hogwarts. They'd made their promises and they'd kept them. They'd kept them until one was broken. Until "we'll stay friends forever" turned into one terrible, awful fight. One word from him casting her off. One accusation from her, banishing him from her life. And yet, there they were now. Would they be able to heal the wounds that were now being ripped back open?

She did remember promising not to cry anymore. She tried to hold it all back, to push it away. "It's not because you're here that I'm crying. It's because you weren't." Was her quiet remark. Then, Lily did as she'd done what seemed like thousands of times before, she sunk into his arms, into his embrace. She placed her head on his shoulder and held on for a moment, ever so gently, just wishing that she could keep that moment even if it had to be her last with him. She couldn't let go, she wouldn't, he meant too much to her.

She let him go and gave him a moment's space. Would he be angry that she was doing this to him? Lily couldn't help it. She'd spent far too much time away from him, away from the sound of his voice, the smell that came from his cloak, the way it felt when those cold palms brushed across her cheek. It was as though those little things helped hold her together before. Without them, Lily was a mess, a genuine mess. All she wanted was to have him back, to have her best friend back. She wiped away her tears, she couldn't help it. She'd finally gotten herself calmed down and now she felt horrifically embarrassed. Would Severus think her a fool now? Would all of his former opinions of her intelligence and poise be lost to this silly, vulnerable Lily that was hardly the girl she was before! Lily felt another stab of hate towards herself for all of it. She hated herself for hurting him and herself. She hated herself for feeling foolish. She hated herself for hating herself. That wasn't how it was supposed to be!

She reached forward and took Severus' palm. She pressed his cool hand to her cheek and stared into his dark, forbidden eyes. "Can we fix this?" She asked of him. She held his hand longer than she'd expected she would. It felt too perfect there. She had missed it far too much to let go now. She wasn't five anymore and she had to learn to clean up her messes on her own. Severus had always been there to help though. Would he be now? Lily let go, finally, and let out a breath only to realize that she was hardly breathing. She needed him there, she needed her best friend. Somewhere down the line, she'd let herself become emotionally dependent on him and now it was catching up to her. What would happen next?

[Severus Snape]

&& the only thing that I seek is your forgiveness...


Severus didn't let go, the girl in his arms was trembling. The tears shook the girl more than he had expected. The young man held her tightly in his arms. Surely he wouldn't be able to bear letting Lily escape him again. It was simply too much to edure. "Shhh." Snape whispered, running his fingers through her hair. "Don't apologize." he cooed. She reminded him now of a little girl. One who'd been bullied, and was coming to her big brother for comfort...her protector. Him.

Lily was a trainwreck now. He's never seen her so broken...so fragile. He didn't care about the past. All that mattered was now. If she needed him, he'd be at her side in a heartbeat. Even if they'd never be anything more than just friends. Even if she still really belonged to Potter. It didn't make a difference. Besides, if anything bad happened to her, Severus would just die.

He wasn't particularly supportive of the death eaters as she believed. He didn't despise muggleborns...well admittedly, he was beginning to. The seemed so naive, jumping into a world that they didn't really belong in. If they'd just keep in line this stupid fight would have never begun, and there'd be no such thing as death eaters, and everyone could just get along. Of course, he'd likely been with those housemates of his for too long. That didn't apply to all muggleborns, and certainly not Lily. She was brilliant, likely the most brilliant witch in school. And she, was not of wizard descent. But anyway, he didn't want to join up with them. But, she'd stopped talking to him, sided with Potter. His fellow Slytherins were understanding...supportive...and...he joined up with them.

She'd clung to him, accepting his further attempt at an embrace. It had made him smile. He knew Lily was a tough girl, she was just confused. He had been confused to. The loss of your best friend had a powerful effect on most. "I'm here now love, but cry all you need." he whispered soothingly He half wished Potter would see them together. See how naive he'd been, leaving the girl to cope with her misery. Had he comforted her? No, it was Severus who had. Whiny, Pathetic Snivellus. Well, who was the pathetic one now?

The girl in his arms had fidgeted, and he had reluctantly let go. Trying to reagain her composure, most likely. And he would let her, even though he still wanted to keep her close, as proof that it had really happened, and his mind wasn't playing tricks on him again. He was mostly afraid of this being a one time thing, and that Lily would return to her common room like nothing had happened.

Her hands were indeed quite smaller than his, but not awkwardly so. Lily's palm was warm and soft in his own cool, and slightly calloused one. "Of course." he mumbled, his own eyes shying away from hers. Hopefully it was dark enough in this latern-lit room for the girl to be unable to notice the minisicule blush creeping across Severus' pale features. It was too good to be true. And yet, it was.

[Lily Evans<3]

&& regret can weigh more than a heaping pile of boulders...

She gave his hand a glance that spoke a thousand words. How much she loved it there. How much she cared about its presence. How much she needed that hand to hold hers. She gave it a little tug for him to move towards the stools. Lily sat her bottom on her's. She was going to try and talk it out. That's what they had to do and she's known it for ages now. She'd needed to make him realize that there was so much more happening there.

Her eyes met his in a fleeting sort of way. Glance after glance; the kind that begged him to stay and yet knew he had every right to leave. "Apologies are in order though. I made a lot of accusations that day. The things I said were mostly speculation. Sometimes I wonder why I said them at all. It's just hard, knowing that you're in Slytherin and may very easily be tempted to a darker lifestyle is a stereotype that I greatly regret." Lily began, her voice small. On so very few occasions did Lily's voice sound small, young. Now was one.

"I've imagined the moment where I'd get to talk to you again, to see you again, for so long. i thought of you Severus. Over the summer whilst I was away at the Logan residence, I never forgot you and our summers along the way. Even now, you're the only person I could ever trust to join me in potions studies. I've missed you so much. I don't think that can really even describe it." She stopped, afraid she may have ruined the moment. She still held his cold hand in hers and never wanted to let go. She did love him.

The hard thing about love was, he wasn't the only one her heart wanted. Despite that great love she had for Severus, Lily knew James still had an overwhelming place in her heart. How could she be tempting Severus this way when she knew it could only lead down an alley she didn't want to be in? She didn't like what she was doing, it seemed manipulative, conniving, and downright rude. Yet, she couldn't stop her addiction so easily. Sev was to tempting to turn away.

Lily knew it was all so wrong, but she at least needed her best friend back. her resolution was, have Sev as her friend again and push away all the extra emotions that came with that. It was the only fair thing for the two of them. Hopefully, Severus didn't feel the same way that Lily did. Hopefully, he only loved her as a friend. Maybe as a sister. That would be okay with Lily. She could handle a brother over a scandal any day. She prayed this wouldn't turn into anything bad.

[[sorry it's dreadful short and awful, distracted and living in chaos land, hopefully it'll pick up again soon.<3]]

[Severus Snape]

&& but frankly my dear, i'm running out of comforting words and now it's time to speak the truth...


Severus was in a daze, her hand in his transported him to another time. A time when things were simple. There were no house rivalries, no witches or wizards. No halfbloods, or purebloods, or muggleborns. Only them, meeting in the same spot, chasing each other around the park, as children. Innocent children, not knowing their world might fall apart one day.

He was pulled from his daydream, as he felt a slight tug on his hand. Snape let the petite girl lead him over to the table and stools. The very same in which they had spent all that time, away from everyone else and their preconcieved notions. A place where they could study together, as friends, and not be bothered. He sat at the stool beside her, awaiting what was to happen next.

She was apologizing? Lily Evans, never did a thing wrong. unless you count acting on her instincts and sticking up for herself in a time of confusion? Sure, at the time, Severus had blamed it on her, but that was because he never really wanted to face the truth, that if he hadn't uttered that one foul name, the would have never gone through this, and she might be at his side and not Potter's. So she was also referring to his descion to join the death eaters and become a follower of the Dark Lord. She...she had right to know, and maybe she wouldn't be angry with him. After all, Lily was a girl who listened to reason.

With his eyes downcast, he began, "Lily, I know you must have been awfully shocked and confused as to why I joined them. It wasn't that I hated...people like you" Snape's voice faltered on the last words, but he felt the need to pick up where he left off. "It was just that, with them, I was accepted, and with you siding with Potter and all I..." he turned away from her for a moment. "I know they aren't the best lot to hang around with, but I was tired of being alone..." He really hoped this wouldn't make her cry again. However beautiful the sight of an angel with tear-stained cheeks might be, it would send a surge of guilt rippling through his heart. It would be all Severus' fault.

"You just...can't comprehend how much i've missed you too, Lils." "It was like someone took away a piece of me." He turned back around. Thank Merlin he hadn't lost it in front of her. and I still love you Lily Ugh! Why couldn't he just say it to her. Why? It would make things less complicated. If she didn't love him back, fine. But at least she would know...Of course she didn't love him back. She had that git, James Potter, and apparently she found him perfect.

[Lily Evans<3]

&&have you ever seen the spark in someone's eye when you know they truly love you...

She took a moment of shock. Lily ran a hand through her fiery red-hair. She fought down a swell of anger building up in her chest before she spoke to him in response to his little decision. "So, you've really joined them then? Were her infamous opening comments.

"Severus, I know it's certainly not my place to say, especially considering this was exactly what tore our friendship in two to begin with, but you're better than this! How can you submit to what really is just peer pressure at the end of the day? I've seen you with them Sev. You're not like those other Slytherins. I mean, look at Bellatrix Black! Look at Narcissa and Lucius! You're not like them Sev! You have a heart. You know that blood does not define your status in society! I don't understand how you can stand amongst their numbers after so many years... How can you stand amongst the numbers who hate me? True friends stand up for what they believe is right, you should have my back. I know your moral standing is not with them!" Lily's wide green eyes tore down into his dark, deep ones. She didn't want to, couldn't, hate Severus. She just couldn't stand idly by whilst he joined the numbers of the horrible.

Lily was more than well aware of the things they said of her. Girls like Bellatrix Black spent their days taunting Lily with names such as "mudblood" or "the unpure one." Lily didn't like it, but she didn't give into the childish event of name calling. She'd always left that up to Alice. Acie didn't mind acting like a five year old. But Severus, no, Sev was at a level that Lily considered to equal to her own. He was a decent human being. He was a great wizard. He had a heart that was so guarded yet, so beautiful if given the chance to shine. And he was diving into the shark tank to either harden or be killed. Lily could NOT watch that happen!

"You're a great person. I know you don't believe it yourself Sev. You are a beautiful person. Your heart is so rare, so intricately designed. Your intelligence sparkles with a shine that is rare and unimaginable. Your morals are in a far better place than that of the other members of your house." She tried to push him. Lily wanted him to be on her side. She hated having sides at all. Why couldn't he do what was right? Why did he have to give in to what the other Slytherins were?

I can't stay mad at you. Not now. Not now that you're here again. Not now that you're my Severus again." Lily had a way of personalizing things to the point of such an impossible charm that she simply dazzled others. She had a knack for making people feel special, making them feel as though they were something amazing. She wanted Severus to feel amazing enough to stand on his own and not give in to the decisions of others. Somehow, she knew her words would never quite be persuading enough. Lives were at stake and she knew Severus would be at the top of the list should he join the numbers of the "good." She would not trade his life for his morals. Perhaps that was selfish. She knew she would never follow that philosophy for her own life, but she valued Sev's far too much to let him die because of her words.

"I understand your choice. I know I have to stand aside and let you do what you must. Just give me the last of my moments Severus. Give me my last months, my last year or two. Give me you back for what's left our time here. All I want is my friend. I won't ask a single question about those affairs which you dabble in. You must never question my own affairs in turn. Just stay with me for these lat moments. Let what we have sparkle until the flames are forced to die out." Her tone was not begging, per say, but definitely persuasive. They made sense. Lily did not know the mess of trouble she was pulling herself into. She knew not the consequences of their relationship being so close once more. She did not understand that love and physical attraction could not go ignored if the two parties were so close so often. Lily Evans was diving head-first into her very own pool of chaos. In matters of love, Lily happened to be far more naive than anyone would imagine. For such an intelligent girl, she should have seen it all headed her way. How could she toss her life up in the air like that? Perhaps no one would know. The relationship between Severus Snape and Lily Evans was a mystery that Lily guarded in her future like a precious gem. No would find out about her true feelings for him. Would they?

[Severus Snape]

&& the sun shines so much brighter when they give you a smile that shows that they truly care for you...

Severus shook his head slightly, letting pointed bangs fall over his eyes. It wasn't a common style, but he thought it best to change it, as he was sick of being told he needed to shower. Equally black eyes examined the girl next to him, checking for a sort of sign that she understood. A guesture that proved she understood.Unfortunately, the understanding he had gravely hoped for, wasn't there, and he frowned slightly "I didn't have much of a choice." Severus mumbled with a miniscule shrug.

Her words were stinging him. True, Lily had intended them that way, but Snape doubt she truly knew how razor sharp her words had been. He would have rather she physically stabbed him through the heart with a blade, rather than him taking all this mental abuse. At least then the wounds would heal, and the marks left behind would be reminder enough to not to anything ever, that would hurt his precious flower. Lily's eyes were ablaze with determination, and they boared into his,breaking him down at the spot. How could he dare respond with another justification? He knew he had been wrong, knew that he should never of done that.


"Lily, I understand that you must of been frustrated with me, and confused.." the boy began, hoping his voice hadn't been trembling too much. She thought he was so much better? How wrong she was! He hated for her to be wrong, and he wished that she was right. Leave it to her rambling about the old him, in a poetic way to make a pang of guilt eat him alive. And 'Her' Severus? How on earth could she even call him that when she loved Potter...the arrogant fool? But as it sunk in, he was thinking less about logic, and more about what she said. 'Her' Severus? Like, he was hers? It sent his heart down another rollercoaster, and made him feel incredibly giddy inside. Lily always made him feel special. Something no one else had bothered to do.

Around Lily, Snape practically wore his heart on his sleeve. He didn't do it often, due to the fact that people would definately use it against him. But...she was different. Everything about her made her seem even more perfect, even her little flaws made her brillance stand out so much more. "I promise you, I will do whatever I can to be the old me that you remember. I can't express in words how sorry I am that I did such a terrible thing, and made a life-changing desicison , I see now was prematurely. But, I'm afraid now there's no going back, and I have to finish what I started. I just want you to know that I will never allow any harm to befall you, and the first opportunity I get, i'll be standing by you." His words were honest ones, but regretfully, that would not be so easy to achieve.

[Lily Evans<3]

&& i can't explain how good it feels to have you back beside me...

How could she ever wish for anything more in the world? Lily had won him back in a sense. Not won, won made it sound like a prize when Severus was a treasure. She'd found what she was looking for so desperate inside of him. She'd found her Severus. Sure, it wasn't as though he'd pledged away from the Death Eaters, but he'd claimed that he'd keep his moral standing, at least in regards to her, alive. Lily could never have asked for anything else from him. Just one thing didn't sit quite right in a joking manner. It was his words that helped her to lighten up a bit. It was time to make him smile again. Lily missed his smile. She was one of the few who got to see Severus Snape truly smile, truly be happy. She wanted that to be one of her moments. She just couldn't let that night be a reminder of re-patching the bad wounds. No, that night had to be a rekindling of laughter, of happiness.

"Now Sev, I don't need protection. I'll have you know, I could take on at least five Slytherin students in their 7th year and still win. I'm unstoppable. Give me a potion in hand and I'll have you know, I could wipe out buildings of dark wizards with so much subtlety that they'd not know what hit them in the afterlife." Her tone had become infectiously teasing and laughingly confident. In return to his promise to "be his old self again," Lily knew she'd have to be herself as well. She was always herself, but she did feel a tad guilty over crying in front of him. Even as her friend, she didn't like feeling like such a child. She loved be honest with Sev, but her emotions were too overwhelming in the moments earlier. Now was a time to heal.

"Thank you. I just want you to be you Sev. And as long as you're you, you're my best friend." She smiled that winning sort of smile. It was the sort of expression she gave her professors after an exam just to give it that extra kick of confidence. Like it was infused with the very essence of Lily. It was her own little touch on the world, as though she was marking it with happiness.

"Now, before you came strolling in, I was brewing a potion. It's nearly finished now, but can we just catch up? God knows there's more than enough for us to talk about. How was your summer Sev? How have you been getting on since start of term? Have the other Slys been treating you well?" There was a laughter to it, but she was also openly listening. She genuinely wanted to hear what he had to say. She wanted to change the topic and laugh and have fun. She wanted to physically make that transition back into friendship instead of just talking about it. Would Severus make that transition with her now?

[-The Sorting Hat-]

-unfinished thread, moving/closing-