-remus- have you got it in you?

[kyndrick laurent]

&& i'm gonna love you like you've never loved before...

The sky hung overhead with a taunting sort of glow to it. The stars scattered around like an endless sea of chaos. The moon gave off its ominous reassurances that there was something coming that Kyndrick wouldn't want to hear. She wouldn't hear it then though. She wouldn't hear it on a beautiful, wild, adventurous night like that. It wasn't adventurous in the sense that Kyn was used to, it was adventurous in that she'd be exploring territories of the the heart that she'd not yet discovered. That was what needed to happen.

She'd been to this side of the lake a thousand times before. Well, perhaps not a thousand, but enough that she'd know it in the dark without a guide. Memories flooded her mind; naked girls, naked boys, long nights, waffles, singing, bon-fires, dancing, twirling, sleeping with others so close, water overflowing as she ducked her head under, feet crunched against the tiny rocks on the shore, hands on her, lips on her, laughter, desperate cries for help, please for sanctuary, engaging in deep conversation, engaging in light conversation. They were all moments, they were all glimpses, they were all so clear, so vivid in her mind.

Now was a different sort of night. Now, she wore a pair of jeans and a knit, brown sweater. Her feet were now clad in red converse. Her hair was pulled back by an elastic band with stray wisps of her brunette locks pulled free and wild. Her makeup was smudged and she smelled like a mix of alcohol, lavender, and peppermint. She'd run up to Ravenclaw Tower before her little adventure with Remus so she could quickly grab clothes and vomit in a bathroom. She'd guzzled down a bottle of water and then rushed out with nothing more than an old knit blanket.

She'd slipped through the halls of Hogwarts in silence with Remus as the darkness swallowed them up together. Something about his presence had comforted her in ways she'd never felt before. She bit back on her lower lip as she thought of what the night hold next. She couldn't see ahead, she'd never have wanted to. She only knew that she wanted him, to be with him, to be beside him, to laugh with him or cry with him, to know he wasn't worried or wandering in her feared darkness alone. She wanted to keep his hand in hers and tell him over and over again how he hadn't made that big of a mistake. Now was the time to know him on some other level. Now was a time for more than just petty conversation about how stupid the two of them were.

So, she lay on a blanket upon those minuscule little rocks upon the shore. Her hair had come out of her tie and was around her head. Her knees were up and she lay in a relaxed position. Her hands were folded atop her stomach. Her eyes were closed despite her love of stars. She was thinking. She listened carefully, taking in his sounds of quiet. She wanted to remember the way his breathing sounded. She wanted to remember his smell when he was close, a little animal-like to be exact. She wanted to remember the things he did when he didn't know it. She needed to keep him in her mind for her own sanity. The way his eyes looked when worried. The way his hand felt in hers. She needed to see it in her own mind for every moment they were apart.

She held on to this new glimpse to add to her collection. She made it last every breath. She opened her eyes to see him there beside her, sitting on the blanket and looking into the water. At lest that was how it seemed. How she wished to take a stroll through his mind. She wanted to look into the glassy water through his eyes for just a moment to make sure things were calm, were at peace. She sat up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Tell me a secret?" She whispered with a tone to her voice that hadn't been there before. She wasn't asking to try to lure him in. She was asking because she genuinely wanted to know everything she could about the young man before her. She needed to know. She rested her chin on his shoulder as she sat on her knees to meet his height from behind. She didn't want to let go.

[Remus Lupin]

Remember those walls I built
Well baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound

How had he gotten here? To this very moment? Sitting beside Kyndrick on an old blanket, underneath the stars, staring at the water in front of him. He watched the cool waves of the water in silence, though the lake was very far from his current thoughts. He was just staring at it because it was there in front of him. But he wasn't spaced out. No, just deep in thought really. In fact, he was a little to aware of everything around him. Abnormally aware of the distance between Kyndrick and him, even of the quiet serenity of the entire location was being noted. Every so often, he would take a peek at Kyndrick from the corner of his eyes. She was laying down. Perhaps watching the stars? Remus however, was sitting up, with both arms rested on a bent knee, while his other leg lay straight forward.

He was also very bluntly attentive of where her hands were placed. Ontop of her stomach. Was she thinking about the kid too? She didn't seem as worried about their problem as Remus. Maybe she was just more easy-going then him? She saw the problem, identified it, and was working to live with it. That was a much more practical approach then Remus'. He was still stuck at the whole 'holy-shit-I-just-fathered-a-wolf-thing' part of the solution. And she'd been right, of course. At the whole dweling on the problem as soon as she left. Kyndrick hadn't even taken that long, but he had still somehow managed to pace the corridor at least a hundred times, his forehead creased together in desperation. He had never felt so confused. Or worried. He ought to watch it too. By this rate, he'd be growing wrinkles by thirty.

But he had made a decision in all his pacing. He'd just...go with the flow tonight. See how everything goes, and just flow with it. Most of all though, he wouldn't think. Okay, scratch that. He would try not to think to much. It was quite literally impossible for Remus Lupin not to think. He just wasn't built that way. If Remus wasn't thinking or worrying about something, the world had to be ending. Actually, you couldn't even say that about him because if the world was ending, Remus Lupin would definitely be thinking about something. Strategizing at least. That was when he felt her arms around his shoulders. His eyes darted away from the quiet lake and he turned his head just slightly so that he could see her from behind.

A secret? His heart caught in his throat. Well...he had a secret. In fact, he had many secrets. One of which was may or may not involve her and her unborn child. This was his chance right? The moment he'd been waiting for. The perfect time. But he didn't take it. Why? Well the reasons were obvious. But he couldn't just lie to her. That hardly seemed appropriate at a time like this. And she was expecting an answer of some sort. Perhaps he could make a joke out of it. Say he had a pet iguana back in Idaho or something impossible like that?

'I...' He began, but seeing as he was still on a borderline, ended differently then he'd started. 'You first.'

[kyndrick laurent]

"Hmm, one of my many secrets? Well dear, that would take all night." Kyn was caught somewhere between a giggle and a sigh. They clashed and suddenly, things seemed so characteristically Kyndrick. What secret could she share with this lovely young man who she'd spent that night with so far? There were secrets that clashed between dark and light. Maybe one that was both? Those always seemed to be metaphorically fit for moments like the ones she'd gotten herself caught up in then. She'd share a story then.

"See that rock just out there?" She asked, her voice suddenly light as the night had swept up her tone. She pointed out into the mass of water before them. There was a flat stone peeking out of the water. "I used to have a friend named Claire Jackson. She was a Hufflepuff and she was a seventh year when I was a second year here. That spring, the one before she graduated, we went skinny dipping with a few of the boys from Slytherin. It was just five of us. The boys had bailed, come up on shore and escaped into the forest to go smoke. Claire and I weren't up to getting high, so we just lay out on that rock for hours. I mean, it was a little odd because we were naked. Lucky me, I was fast growing-wise or else those guys would've thought I was a sure-fire freak." She laughed at the physical aspect of her story.

"Anyway, we just lay there talking and watching the stars. She'd roll over and whisper secrets in my ear. I remember how she told me she'd never fit into this world. That's why she was a Hufflepuff. She said her life just didn't make sense in the bigger picture of everything. She was muggle born and her parents hated her magic. She didn't know what she'd do after Hogwarts. I told her how my dad wasn't a big fan of magic either. Claire made sense to me, even at twelve. She was too beautiful for her own good and gravitated around bad things. She told me she wanted to do something to help people with her life and I told her to maybe try healing. So, she really took to that idea and went on for hours about it." Kyn smiled at the memory, she wondered if Remus could even see her face as her chin rested on his shoulder. Kyndrick loved stories. They built people and how people felt during little glimpses.

"That night never seemed to end. I remember how we got bored after a while and just swam out in that lake. We weren't swimming towards anything in particular, just seeing if it might wear us out to tred so much water. I remember how her blond bob of hair would float above the water and her big brown eyes were shaped as she whispered awful secrets in my ear. The night wore into morning and we found ourselves on the shore, the boys back but dead asleep. We got dressed and Claire and I walked back to the school." Kyn smiled at the memories of her friend. "That summer, I got an owl from Mary Jackson, Claire's mum. In a muggle hate act by some of "You-Know-Who's" followers, Claire was murdered. I spent the rest of my summer mourning the loss of her. In my third-year, I started reading medical texts and studying magical healing not because I was bright and just wanted to learn, but because I needed to do something Claire would have wanted to do." Kyn murmured, a deep stare wearing into the lake's waters. "The secret isn't that Claire died or that I had a reason for learning about healing. The secret is that I loved her. I mean, Claire meant so much to me. The secret is that I love people, even when I shouldn't." She sighed and turned her head slightly to kiss Remus on the cheek.

"Now, it's definitely your turn." She said brightly, all traces of sadness vanishing. She wanted to know everything about Remus. She wanted him to want to know her too. That was why she'd shared Claire. Kyn hated talking about Claire, but she needed him to know. That way, Remus would know why Kyn loved people too. They brought back a little Claire to her life.

[Remus Lupin]

Remember those walls I built?
Well baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound

Remus had been watching her. His eyes darting to her face as she told her story. He noticed her changes of expression during the telling. Remus had never known Kyndrick was so--deep? different? He couldn't quite find an appropriate word to fit this glimpse of her. A different side then he'd grown accustomed to. But he wasn't complaining in the slightest. There was definitely more then meets the eye with Kyndrick Laurent, and how could that be a bad thing? He was focused on her words, while gazing at her. She seemed to be in a different place. Reminising no doubt. Seeing the memories she could only speak about.

As the story finished, and he learned the outcome of Claire's life, his eyes returned to the soft ripples of the lake once more, his own thoughts attempting to take him back to that night. He imagined the two girls laying on the rock below, whispering ever so quietly, swimming through the lake. Then of Kyndrick getting the owl saying that Claire had been murdered. The version of the girl's swimming was probably slightly different in his head then when it actually happened. For one, Claire was just a headless girl because he wasn't actually sure what she actually looked like never having met her, and for another, Remus pictured the girls in bathing suits. He didn't want to start blushing in the dark. He turned to her, actually a little touched that she'd shared such a personal story of her childhood with him. He was almost surprised when the next time she turned towards him, her face was at its usual brightness again.

But, despite his head screaming at him to do the opposite, he had to lie to her. Or...well not necessarily...He'd just tell her a secret that wasn't really of any importance. Like, that he enjoyed watermelons in the summer time, but he only ate them in private because he was afraid of the juicy goodness dripping down his chin. That was true. Watermelons are extremely watery afterall. 'Well..I don't have many secrets..' Lie. 'the best I've got for you is that I..' Am a werewolf. 'Don't sleep...honestly, I think I might have a bit of an insomnia problem' He said, adding a small goofy grin to lighten the mood a bit while silently cursing himself. Perhaps he should add that he was a compulsive liar aswell? And change the meaning of honesty while he was at it..
[/size]

[kyndrick laurent]

Kyndrick had to laugh at his 'secret.' She'd always known there was a little something more to Remus. She could never quite point it out but figured, perhaps that wasn't the night for his dark secrets to surface. People confess their truth on their own time. She reminded herself laughingly. She had many secrets too. Nothing truly dark, nothing horrible. The worst that had happened was her mother's death and that was a long time ago and she never hid it or anything. The rest were all memories. So many different ones all jumbled together. She knew Rmus must have thought her crazy to be smiling after telling him about Claire's death. In truth, she'd be able to let go of the memory of the letter as long as she could keep the one of the time spent with her Hufflepuff friend. Kyn loved to cling to the good moments and let the bad ones fade into the past.

"Aww, Lupin the insomniac? It's alright Love, most of us have trouble sleeping as well so, there's no shame in it." She winked. "I remember my first year, it took me about two months to get used to my bed in the Ravenclaw Tower. It just wasn't home, ya know?" She outright laughed at this. Now that she'd spent years at the school, her own home didn't feel like home anymore. Hogwarts had felt so awkward in the beginning.

She grinned and then stood up spontaneously. She reached her arms down as if she were to help him stand up with her. "C'mon, you're going to dance with me. I was drunk earlier and it was less fun." She dragged him into her wild little world. There wasn't music, just the sounds of the forest and lake on both sides of them. She could hear the water lapping onto the jagged shoreline. There was an owl hooting in the distance. Leaves rustled, trees shook slightly with movement as the occasional gust of wind graced the night's air. There were far off shouts as the party continued into the night somewhere miles from their little sanctuary. She'd danced her before. It wasn't so odd. Some nights had music, others didn't. Some night there were girls, some there were boys. Hell, once there was even a teacher! Kyn's life was miles from normal.

She wanted him to dance with her. She wanted to hit a pause button on his thoughts. She wanted to help him get lost in that night with her. Everything was better when lost together. At least, that had been Kyndrick's philosophy so far.She closed her eyes, waiting to feel the weight of his hands in her's. She wanted to open her eyes and see a grin on his face too. Wishes didn't come true all the time, but on night's as long as that, they should have.

[Remus Lupin]

Remember those walls I built?
Well baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound

Remus grinned back at her, hiding his internal surprise that she had not questioned his 'secret'. He was relieved however, knowing that she wouldn't push him farther in search of a more meaningful secret, since her's had been a lot more personal than his. Well, at least he hadn't lied right? That had to count for something. Even if there was a reason behind his insomnia that he hadn't decided to share, which was the real secret, this had to count as honesty. It was a start anyway. He nodded sideways in a reply to her last comment. 'Yes, well, I guess Hogwarts feels like home now. But it's still taken me six years, and more to get used to my bed' He said with a small chuckle.

At her offer, he, for once did so without much thinking, agreed, and without another word besides a playful grin, got to his feet aswell. After so much chaos that night, maybe it was okay to loosen up a little. 'Alright. But, just to give you a little warning,' He began as he held her hands and brought her closer to him. 'I have a tendency of toe-trotting while dancing' He ended, giving her a teasingly serious look. Placing two hands onto her waist, he thought of another thing.

'I don't want to sound like Mr. Obvious here but, you do know there's no music right?' He said chuckling quietly. Of course she knew. Remus knew Kyndrick wasn't an idiot. Far from that. But, didn't dancing imply the need for music? Perhaps she would want Remus to play DJ? Suddenly he got a mental image of himself rapping. This caused a glint of amusement appear in his eyes as he looked back at Kyndrick for an answer.
[/size]

[kyndrick laurent]

Kyn laughed. "By all means, if you'd like to sing, go ahead. My voice is fair awful and I promise I'm not being modest so, I won't push those limits." Kyndrie knew better than to go so far. She was so aware suddenly, of his hands at her waist, of his grin. She felt everything wash over her. The night sunk in again and didn't let her out of its eerie knowledge of each little movement, sound, feeling. Shiver trickled down her spine as she looked at Remus and Remus alone. "Besides, dancing without music is better for you. It makes you more creative, dancing to beats that aren't there. Dancing without music lets you know someone on a different level. You have to learn how their body moves with yours. You have to learn how to move to the sounds of the nights and the lake and forest. You have to dive in touch with everything all at once." Kyndrick whispered all of it. She had done this a few too many times.

Her eyes remained locked with his. It wasn't tense, just existent. An expression didn't quite grace her features she was just Kyndrick, that was all. And, as far as she could tell, this was just Remus. That was exactly how she wanted it too. She needed them to be just a boy and just a girl in just a night by just the lake they'd both grown up gazing into. They swayed lightly, her hands resting weightlessly on his shoulders. She wrapped them around a little tighter and pulled a little closer. In truth, Remus was warm. Kyndrick liked warm things. Was that a sign for you or what?

"So, Mr. Obvious, what would you like to do tonight? We've got endless possibilities and I've already got you dancing. It's your turn to choose something thrilling. Anything in the world. Just you and me. What do you want?" She asked. She made it sound as if they could take over the world. Her tone carried so much impact. She was tempting him. She was daring him to take a chance on anything. It was a tall order, but Kyndrick Laurent was convinced she could deliver.

[Remus Lupin]

Remember those walls I built?
Well baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound

'Just checking' He said with a laugh when she stated that she couldn't sing. Well, that was at least one thing they had in common. Remus couldn't sing for the life of him. He'd tried karoke once when he was younger, and come up with only two words to leave the experience with. Never again. When she spoke next, Remus pondered that for a moment, his face thoughtful as he took in her words. Where did she get this stuff from? She was good, that was for sure. But he wasn't even sure what to reply to her with. He stuck to keeping his mouth shut. The other option was saying something completely random and idiotic.

Kyndrick seemed to live in her own seperate world. Played by her own rules, making things up on the spot. It looked like a pretty nice world to live in, so this wasn't a bad thing. Perhaps Remus ought to check the real estate there. Her world was much more positive then his. Even after just finding out she had a love child on the way at seventeen, she was still all smiles. Remus had to admire that. And it seemed contagous. Remus was slowly finding it easier to slow down the fast-pacing worrying in his mind, and concentrate on the here and now. Of course, he knew it would return as soon as Kyndrick was no longer in his presence, but he wasn't worried about that at the moment. It was all about the here and now.

Remus looked back at Kyndrick as they swayed slowly to the non-beat. What to do now? Well, that was a good question wasn't it. What would Remus Lupin like to do now? He smiled, leaned in a little closer and pressed his lips ontop her softly as an answer. Breaking apart, his expression became a little thoughtful. She was right. There were a lot of possibilities. Which one to choose...'I kind of want you' He said randomly smiling down at her.[/size]

[kyndrick laurent]

She felt his lips press against hers softly. There was something so gentle about it all. Kyndrick wondered if Remus thought she was something delicate. Was he inclined to be careful with her? She liked the idea of someone treating her like she was almost fragile. She was usually treated like a child's toy. Now, she felt like a flower blooming. It made her feel beautiful and she couldn't exactly object to that.

She loved the feeling of his closeness. His words settled in her ears like cotton balls, persuading her further. "And what would you like with me tonight?" She asked in a whisper. She'd leaned up on her tip toes to whisper it in his ear. This really was between them and only them. Well, maybe them and the baby forming within her. Her face was lightly serious. No, serious wasn't the word that fit. She was content. Content to dance, content to kiss, content to be. She didn't care for all the messing up she'd done. Now was a moment, just another in her world.

I think I'll keep him. Kyn thought to herself. He's good dancer and I'm pregnant with his baby, he's the only one who will ever really fit with me. Her mind raced. She was so close now. She could feel his body next to hers. She could hear his breathing. She could feel their movement like they were one person. She loved that warmth. I could sleep next to this warm being for the rest of my years. She thought to herself. She sunk into those smiling eyes. Settling down would be easy if it was with him.

[Remus Lupin]

Remember those walls I built
Well baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound

[/color] He said lightly, one of his own mood swings escaping him. 'Want to go camping?'[/size][/font][/ul]